Loyal

I have considered myself a loyal Southern Baptist Christian for all of the days of my life. I say loyal only because it has been the Will of the Father that I, to this day, have remained so. There have been days, in which inside of my horribly underutilized brain, I have believed myself to be walking without my God. During those days was I loyal? One would be justified in saying no, but because of where I am today I would disagree. This I attest to because of my present Faith. If it were not for those days when I believed myself walking without the Lord, I could not know the Faith I now know. It is not an issue of me being loyal anyhow, for the Lord my God has been loyal, which in turn has made me loyal, no matter what my puny mind thinks, or what any body's puny minds think. Our brains are puny simply because we have forgotten what wonderful potential rests within our skulls. We have forgotten this potential because we have, for so many days, been loyal to only ourselves and the necessities of this world. We have forgotten what we are truly loyal to and what is truly loyal to us. The forces that drove me to the foolish idea that this life was all there was, are many and far advanced. Why do they give us so much trouble? Why are we constantly pushed, and poked, and prodded towards a belief that no god abides above us? I tell you this, if you are loyal by faith and knowledge to the Almighty, you will understand darkness and will always shine light above it, for we are Children of Light and that is what we do. God Bless

Knowledge and Truth, Within

The flesh and blood that houses my soul came into being on February 22, 1977. I first believed that Jesus Christ was my savior while attending a Sunday-school class at the First Baptist Church located in Boone, NC. I cannot remember how old I was, but definitely younger than when I was young. I remember seeing myself standing with the Lord beside a beautiful river, under a beautiful sky, and being completely and totally at peace. I remember imagining that He was smiling down at me as we just existed there by the river. I am glad I saw Him on that Sunday morning at that Sunday-school class, for indeed I have come to know that He came to save me and that I would need Him much more than the air I breathe. I am now 33 years old and the experiences, trials, joys, heartaches, accomplishments, failures, triumphs, disasters, and so on and so forth, have blended themselves together into a purer sort of knowledge. I give myself no credit at all for the attainment of this knowledge, for one of the main lessons I have learned is that I am pretty much capable of knowing nothing, especially when it comes to knowledge. That's a funny sentence isn't it; knowing nothing about knowledge. That being said, you could conclude that I should not even be writing these words, but do not forget the Christ that compels me to do so. I am capable of nothing, that is a good lesson learned, but not any more important than the knowledge and belief that Christ is capable of all things. How could I know and believe how capable Jesus is if I am not very capable at being capable of knowledge? For one thing, I am very glad that I can read, even if what I read does not agree with me. For another, I am glad that I can think, even if what I think does not agree with me. I do not think it is as much disagreeing with me, rather a disagreement with the Spirit dwelling within me. I am very glad for these things. The struggles, and pains, and all the other internal groans of this existence are all signals from the Spirit that danger is always lurking around every corner for us. God is inside each and every one of us to the extent we allow Him to be revealed. I use words like God, and Him, and Father, and Lord to describe It, but how insignificant these words are when compared to what God Truly Is. Do you think that God is not a part of each and every struggle we should face here? If one allows one self to realize that the Light came from Light and that that Light will never stop shining and each and every one of us is a part of it whether we believe so or not, then one has already gone Home. Even the most retched of us have it burning within us. God is the Lord of all and Christ relays over and over the knowledge that God Almighty is as much within us as around us or above us. Darkness exists, that is all there is to say about it and how glorious it is that a God of Light would take any time at all to help us humans fend off powers of darkness and despair. Do you not think that God is not the darkness? Do you think that God is not the despair? God is all things and that is a very hard concept for us humans to grasp. God is the good, God is the bad, God is the beautiful. God is the ugly. God is all things and above all things and before all things and it is curious indeed that we have such a horrible time seeing our God within ourselves. Christ warns us of our sleeping and came here precisely for the purpose of waking humanity on earth. He said that we were sleeping and that forces beyond what we are capable of reasoning are in a constant struggle themselves with the true nature of God and that all there is to believe in is Light. If the One before all things is a One of Light, then It will be Light that prevails. If the creator of all things created is a creator of darkness, then light shall cease to be. Jesus Christ, the Nazarene, gave His Life to tell humanity a story about a Father of Light before there was Light. He told us how to begin reaching back to our True Source and that all the Light in all the Heavens is no further away than the very hearts in our chests. We Christians have become so accustomed to believing that there is some sort of separation occurring during mortal life, and that Heaven and hell are yet to come. When you learn that they are already here, you learn to begin setting yourself free. If you look into the world and see hell, and realize that it is real and present, then you can learn to avoid it; and if you learn to avoid it while wearing the flesh, then how will it trap you when you are spirit? It can't. If you look into the world and see Heaven, and realize that it is real and present, then how much more shall you gravitate towards It when given wings to reach It? The world likes making things seem very complicated and confused. Really, it is as simple as a hug and a smile and motion and rest.

Into the Paranormal

I am glad to say that I will not be one of those individuals who never experiences anything paranormal during their life spans. If I really think about it then maybe I'm not glad that I am one of those people who has seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears things that most of humanity would say could not be seen or heard. There is no doubt that the forces I have been slated to experience by the forethought of my Father are dangerous and quite powerful. There is little doubt in my mind that these forces have had a distinct effect on my being. Um, yep, I'm still glad that I have experienced them because with each new experience they have forced me to mantain and nuture a belief that there is so much more than meets the eye and that by actually seeing and hearing these things I have been blessed beyond measure. I have heard hundreds of voices from beyond the grave. I have seen with my own eyes energetic beings with the ability to take the shape of seemingly whatever they see fit. Cries for help from thin air are no strangers to me. Menacing growls from beyond the darkness barely make a dent in my resolve. After what I have been through on this earth, to me, the paranormal has become quite normal and therefore I have had my mind transformed from what I was taught to believe into what I was meant to believe. Because of my faith I do not fear. Because I am a child of Light, darkness has no power over me. Because of the One who came before me I shall rejoice in seeing and hearing what I am meant to see and hear. I tell you this, nothing I have experienced from the other side promotes more fear within me than what we all see every single day in the flesh. I'm starting to believe that there are more demons and spectres in the flesh than anyone has ever dared mention. The pursuit of paranormal knowledge, is in fact, a pursuit of knowledge, so therefore, it is the pursuit of something good. Jesus, the Nazarenne, and my Teacher and God said the only Way to the Kingdom of Heaven was through true knowledge. Paranormal events can force one to think with a mind that is opened, and therefore, great benefit can be acheived through this field of study. A critical problem rests in the fact that there is only so much we can ever know by seeking the dead. The one constant to both the believer and unbeliever is that the dead are dead. They are where they are and we don't have the first damn clue about where that is or what they are doing there. We think that our evps or infrared videos gleen some extrodinary truth from far beyond. It's probably not that far beyond at all, and more likely looming over every shoulder upon planet earth right at this very moment. It takes a troubled short of individual to want to poke an invisible demon slug beast in the eye, and it is my very strong opinion that only the rarest few should do such poking. Just like everything else in this shitty world of ours, the paranormal has become a business, a spectacle, a cheap form of entertainment. Those who are taking part in these things have absolutely no idea what they are doing to their spirits. Those who do have an idea, no longer take part, period. There are so many things that need to be tended to in this visible world in which we live, to be endlesslessly wondering what it is going to be like after this life is futile and counterproductive. We need to be tending to the living and leaving the dead with the dead. All I have heard from the realm of the dead is that it damn sure sounds better to be alive or not where they are. Do we who believe in them not realize that who has charge of us also has charge of them? By being where they are we have no say in their affairs, but they can say all they want in ours. Dangerous. The Lord will provide for the dead if the dead are meant to be provided for. If a human being feels compelled to help the dead who call for help, that him or her should first look into the eyes of someone very alive and dear to them and realize that that is where the tending needs to be done. If a human being is tormented by the dead, it is that individual who alone possesses the ability to end such torment. No team, or organization, or reality televison crew, or any other person can do a single thing for those afflicted by the invisble. All they could ever do in any way is tell that person or persons to get in touch with the Divinty within themselves and end it through the power of Creation. It is much like the double edged sword of everything in life. There will be those who benefit from this line of study and there will be those who are damned by it. From my vantage point the damned are going to far outnumber the enlightened.

"The devil's Own Dad"

Beaten and battered and then ripped and then torn
Battling the darkness since the day we were born
Gritting our teeth and finding the way
Playing these games, these games that we play
So many wounds from so many fights
Waging this war day after night
Damn that damn devil, he's a damn mean ass foe
Hunting us down, each place that we go
No doubt, indeed, a huge, massive prick
Getting his jollies by making us sick
Poking us here and proding us there
Searching for weakness and a good place to tear
No worries though, for it is why he wants us so bad
We come from the Father, the devil's own Dad

"On Knees"

And the black sets in; all pressure, all around
Hope, cloaked
Vision, blind
A perfect enemy amidst a perfect fog
Ah, yes, it is the black and it's all set in now
Feelings, mute
Bitter, taste
The cud of life rejoicing
The prince of this world doing a pretty little dance
And the black sets in; crushing my bones from every angle
Dreams, nightmares
Nights, neverending
And so it goes that the black sets in
At the end, near the middle, or just the beginning
Black, here
On, knees

Nothing

I accept the fact that my life has equated to the sum of the parts of nothing but one failure atfer another after another and another. All added up to the sum of nothing. There is a high degree of enlightenment in the knowledge of nothing. How ironic is that? Usually nothing means the exact opposite of knowledge, but then here I am finding knowledge in the fact that nothing is what most perfectly describes me and my existence here on earth. If I should try and describe my family to you, the best word I could use to describe them would be none. If I tried to tell a story of my friends the best word to use would be gone. None and gone and so the bleeding of my heart continues into the vast nothingness that is always dancing all around me. How nothing dances I do not know, but to see it everyday makes me appreciate the fluid and smooth movements it makes as it Tangos on my soul. Fail, failure, and failed and that is what I can take credit for accomplishing in this life. And oh the dance we do, failure, nothingness and me all being one spinning and slidng on the floor, but at least it really doesn't matter because no one is watching. I suppose that is the key to nothingness anyhow; the fact that no one is watching and it really doesn't matter. When the sum of the parts of my life add up to nothing then it is almost certain that little if any impact will be made by my departure from this world.