Nothing Left

When I was a little boy I had great dreams of doing special things in this world. When I was a little boy I had a limitless hope that I would follow in the footsteps of my Granny Maggie and be a person that people looked up to and admired. There was a time when dreams and hope had very real meaning to me, but for my sins, they have faded from my life and the Lord hath delivered me into the wilderness that I should learn by torturous fire the meaning of righteousness by means of tribulation. It is not what I thought it would be, but it is what it is and I have no trouble accepting the trials placed down before me here. I believed at one time that if I made it out of my awful childhood intact, the Lord would reward me with a peaceful life. I believed for a very long time that if I could avoid becoming like my worthless, mean natured, and godless father I would find much favor with the Creator. I knew with certainty that if I could become more than my fluzzy, evil mother that I would be well on my way to a blessed existence. I am nothing like my idiot parents, but instead of being rewarded I have been put to the test. The Good Book states that the Lord will never place upon you more than you can bare. I do indeed thank God, for it seems that I have been gifted with a very strong back meant to carry a very heavy load. If it should at some point break at least I will know that I carried it as long as I could and that, though I wanted to many times, I never gave up. Hell, one wise man once said, "sometimes nothing is a pretty cool hand" and so I venture on with nothing in this world and pray for the day that I might lay my suffering down at the feet of Christ that He should take it from me.